My Cherry Blossom
by sleepyhead.shuu
Summary: You were like a cherry blossom, our love was like the spring. I thought it would last forever. But just like the wind blows the cherry blossom away, just as they flutter away, the wind also carries you away. [UkyouxHeroine, UraUkyouxHeroine, Rated M for Language]
1. Chapter 1

Title : Ore no Sakura (My Cherry Blossom)

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><p>AN : The **bold** is **UraUkyou** speaking and the one in _italic _is _Ukyou_ speaks to himself which means, UraUkyou can hear him as well in this _italic_. This is just a fanfiction. This has nothing to do with the real story and such lol

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><p>I sit alone under a tree, looking at the pink petals dance with the wind. This melancholic scenery surely brings back the memories I used to bury deep inside my heart. Spring means more than a simple season for me. It was spring when I met her for the first time. It was spring when I captured her images inside my lens by accident. It was spring when I fell in love with her at the first sight.<p>

And now, the spring comes back. It's been a long time since I feel the warmth of spring. I've been occupied with never ending summer, trying to save her from her pitiful fate. But, no matter I do, I couldn't change much. I have no choice but to kill myself to secure her safety because I know one thing..We cannot coexistence in another world. That's the reason why we decided to go to back to my world and rewound the time instead. But as Neil said, this is my last chance. If I messed up, then I'll be gone for good, along with the kind deity who tried his best to help me.

"Ukyou…" The horned man appears right next to me. He looks more transparent than he was before. His power is starting to fade away.

"Neil.. Is something wrong? Don't force yourself to come out."

"No.. But it will be summer before you realized it. You should meet her earlier, right?" His words let out a small chuckle from my lips. I know, I know I need to meet her. Unlike any other days, we decided to travel a few days before the 'that day' for a better preparation. But whenever I see her, I couldn't bring myself to walk closer and greet her. Maybe..I'm just a coward. I'm too afraid to see the suspicious look she'd show me.. I'm afraid to hear [_Who are you?_] from her because when she asked that, I knew that I wouldn't able to hide my pain.

"Ukyou.." The soft voice once again calls my name. I shift my sight back to the kind spirit before smile slightly.

"I'm sorry. I will talk to her today…"

"That's not it.." Neil looks at me with a deep sadness reflected in his eyes.

"This is my fault. I'm sorry that I made you went into this hopeless situation." I shake my head as I close my eyes slightly, feel the gentle wind that tickles my skin gently.

"No. Don't be sorry. I wished for it.. And also…" I look at my partner, trying to make him feel better. "I know what to do now. Don't worry, we'll make it."

As if replaying the boring scene from a movie, my feet lead me to 'that place'. It seems like my body remembers where I should head even without me thinking of it. I feel like my feet already know where I should head as I reach the Main Street and moves to a café in the corner of street. I smile slightly as I read the words on the wall. 'Meido no Hitsuji'. I walk down the stairs toward the café that I used to visit. Today, is her shift. I remember all of her shifts since we used to go on date after her shifts.

_Date, huh?_

Even only in memories, it chokes me a little. As usual, this place always brings back memories, all those bad and good memories. I nod my head, trying to calm myself before I open the door to the maid and butler café.

"Okaerinasaimase, Goshuujinsama! Just for one person?" I hold my breath as I see her, right in front of me. As always, looking at her alive makes me happy. If I could, I'd love to jump and hug her tightly. But I know, I'm just a stranger for her here. I couldn't do such thing. She isn't mine, _not anymore_.

"Goshuujinsama?" Her voice brings back my sanity. I shake my head before smile at her.

"A—ah.. Yes. For one person." She throws another smile as she bows her body slightly before gives a gesture for me to follow her. At instant, my resolve crumbles under her smile. She is really cute, pure, and innocent. No one would suspect something bad will happen to her when the cicadas cry.

_Please, take my life now, God. Please, let her smile like this without experiencing __her terrible fate__._

She starts to pour some cold water into a glass before hands me a menu.

"Take your time to choose the menu, Master. Please ring the bell once you make up your mind." She gives me another smile before leaves me for another customer. Each time she smiles, my heart aches. I miss her, I want to hold her closer to my arms..But I can't. It's okay.. Looking at her like this is more than enough. To know that she is happy..It's more than enough for me. I keep trying to remind myself as I start to read the menu that I already memorized.

Suddenly, the bell on the door rings, a sign of a customer comes. I look at the door in reflex and I see someone familiar. A young man with black hair and slight red highlight who bears 'HEART' in his name. The young man rakes his hair slightly as he sighs.  
>"Okaer—Ah, Shin!" Her greet disappeared along the way as she realizes the one who walks in. She smiles widely, jogs slightly to the heart man. But as clumsy as always, she trips on her own uniform. I gasp and try to reach her but seems like my effort doesn't needed as Shin catches her perfectly in his arms.<br>"Idiot, what are you doing?" She puffs her cheek cutely as she stands up properly and pats her own uniform.  
>"I'm just happy to see you here. Can't I?" Shin's face turns red as he looks away awkwardly and she teases him like usual. I look at the scene from a far while trying to mend my broken heart.<p>

"I supposed to be her boyfriend here but our memories together were wiped away since I didn't walk to her when it was supposed to be our first meet… That means.." I look down to the ground as I let a bitter smile on my face. "Ah..So, if I didn't exist..She is supposed to be with Shin..?" I whisper to my own self. This is the nth time that she already in love with someone else. I saw her hugging, kissing, going on date, happily with someone else for countless times already. It was painful for me to see because I love her very much. But it will be different now. Whether I'm used to the pain or I'm getting stronger, but now I know that it's not what I need to think about. I need to save her, no matter what it takes. I'm not here to make her fall in love with me. As long as she is safe, then that's all I need.

"It's good…I shouldn't worry about anything..She will never be alone…"

_She will be fine.._

_That's all…I need.  
><em>

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><p>I know it won't be easy.<p>

Not only the world who tried to kill her, but also…

…'That person'…..

**It's over.**

_It's not._

**It's already over.**

_It's not._

**Why it must be ME who feel the pain?**

_It can't be helped, right?_

**It's hurt.**

_It is hurt..But it's fine._

**In the end, I got nothing from this pain. She will never look at me. Hah. Let alone loving me, she doesn't even know me. For her, I'm just a regular at her café. A stranger who doesn't need her concern at all.**

_No.. That's not right. She doesn't need to remember me. I don't want her to worry about me._

**Where was she when I threw myself off from the roof, feeling my head hit the hard asphalts? Or when the train swept my body into pieces? Or when those vehicles crushed my body? Or when I become a minced meat under the collapsed bridge? Or when I was got burned to death? Stabbed? Dismembered? Was she even care that the stalker she knew was actually trying to save her?**

_No…Stop… I…I don't…_

**Haha. What a joke. I was struggling for her. Dying multiple times, enduring the pains again and again. The physical pain was already too much. And then, I saw her kissing those bastards. She was happy with them. Who knows what she might do when I'm not looking. Pitiful, eh? To sacrifice myself over a girl who doesn't even bother even if I died.**

_No.. That's not…That's not it.. She..She just…_

**It's hurt. It's hurt. It's hurt. It's hurt. It's hurt. It's hurt. It's hurt. It's hurt. **

_Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!_

**It's hurt. It's hurt. It's hurt. It's hurt. It's really painful. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired.**

_No. No…! Shut up! Shut up! Please, stop it!_

**It's hurt, right? Both my body..and my heart…**

…_I…_

**I can't bear this anymore…**

…_..No…_

**Too much pain…**

_It's hurt…_

**It's really painful…**

_But…_

**That woman… That ungrateful woman.. It'll be better if she off dying..**

…_..She…NO! NO! NO! Stop it… Please, this is our last chance.. Please..let me..finish it.._

**HAHAHAHAHA.. Idiot. What an idiot. Don't worry.. I am Ukyou as well. I know what should I do to finish it…**

…_No, I will..finish it by myself…_

Travelling around the world, witnessing her happiness and died in her stead came with a high price. It was happened when I got buried under concretes after saving her. It was the first time I aware of my other side who was too tired to bear the pain. I was too weak. Too weak even to defeat myself. He was born from my fear, my anxiety, my selfish desire. He was myself, my other self. He always here, right in my heart, waiting for the chance for taking over my body, lead me astray as he gives me the influence to abandon her. That voice, inside my mind start to torturing me, teasing my sanity to snap and embracing the darkness. But I cannot do it. I can't. For her sake.. For Neil's sake..Also, for my own sake. I can't give up now.

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><p>I hide myself behind a wall. Without realizing, the first August already greeted us. I take a small breath, walking back and fro. I don't really sure what should I do here. No, I know what I should do but I'm too nervous.<p>

I peek from the wall and gasps as I see her walks closer to her university. A slight smile appeared on my face as I nod my head.

_Thank gosh, she is okay._

"Ukyou.." Neil whispers right next to me. I know, I have no choice. There is no turning back now. I have nowhere to run or else, she will be done today. The explosion in the university. I should..warn her. It's all or nothing.

"A—ano…" I walk to her side, smiles slightly. She looks at me, her eyes land right on mine. That small eye contact made my heart jumps slightly. She stays silent, doesn't even say much and she looks like she lost in her thought. Wait…Is that mean…

"…Do…you remember me?" She widens her eyes and she looks troubled. Perhaps, she doesn't remember me afterall. I know, I know it. There is no way she'd remember me..But why..it feels hurt..? I supposed to get used to it, yes?

"I see… Of course not…" I mutter, glancing up to the university building. "A—anyway, are you going in?" I throw useless question as I point my finger at the university.

"Yes..Is…something wrong?" She asks as she tilts her head slightly to the side. I smile and shake my head slightly.

"It's just an advice..But..You shouldn't go in now.."

"Eh? Why…" _Why indeed.._ I always found it hard to find a reason. I couldn't really say something like the university will exploded, right?

"…Anoo…?" Her voice brings back my sanity, makes me shaking my head at her question.

"It's..nothing. Just be careful and I advise you not to go in now. If you excuse me." I bow at her before moving away, silently cursing myself for my cowardice.

"Do you think she will do as you tell her, Ukyou?" I shake my head at Neil's words. Honestly I don't know if someone suspicious like me will get her trust.

"Even if she doesn't, I will stay around her to make sure of her safety." A soft bitter laugh escaped my lips. "I sound like a stalker, yes?"

"No.." Neil smiles kindly at me then shakes his head. "No.. You are a nice person. A very strong one.."

"Neil..We know I'm not that strong.." I mutter then turn my back, smiles slightly as she decides not to walk into the university and starts to head back to another direction, seems like she is going home now.

"But I will keep myself straight.. all or nothing, right?"


	2. Chapter 2

It's the third day of the fateful August. I'm leaning by the wall, watching the café right across the road. Yesterday, nothing dangerous happened so I could rest assured. Now, I just need to watch her, protecting her from afar like usual because if I get too close, I won't know what **'he'** might do. I can't repeat the same mistake.

I close my eyes briefly, trying to calm my heart as I remember something might happen today. Repeating the same month all over again caused me to remember all the death patterns the 'World' designed to kill any of us. Like double edge of sword, fate isn't something that flexible and easy to change. The pattern of 'accidents' never changes, including the fate that we will never able to coexist.

"Ukyou." Neil's voice once again brought me back to the reality. "She is coming out." I nod as I saw her walking out the café. Seems like her shift ended nicely. I went to the café for my lunch but it would be weird if I stayed there until the end of her shift so I decided to wait outside. I'm glad that she is okay up until , I picked my pace and follow her, carefully not to make her noticed that I was following her. Once, I got caught following her and she thought I was a stalker, caused me to get send into the jail. Funny yes, but I didn't want to waste any time for now.

"Here it goes.." Neil whispered. She is walking to cross the street and without anymore thought, I run to her side, pulling her arm away from the road and make the car to speed away without even touches her flesh.

"Haaa….What a dangerous car." I sigh, looking at her with a concerned look. "Are you okay?"

"E—eh… U—un." She nodded her head, looking down briefly before she looks at me and smiles gently. "Thank you. But why—are you help me?"

Her question brought me into a silent. I help you because I love you, of course. But I couldn't tell her that.

"Do we need a reason to help someone?" I asked her back. She fidgets a bit, casts her gaze aside before she shakes her head.

"Of course—not."

"Right? We don't need a reason to help someone—And also…" I bit my lips. Again, I almost careless in front of her. It always hard to lie to her.

"Is something wrong, mister?" I shake my head as I put on a faint smile.

"No, I'm fine. Don't worry." I cup my chin as I look at her without a miss. Good, I didn't see any wound. She is fine. It's great.

"A—anoo.."

"Hm?"

"If you're staring that way—it's a little embarrassing." Her words caused me to shot a look at her reddened face. That only could made my face turns even redder than her.

"I—I..uh..I'm sorry! I didn't mean to stare! I was thinking that you're pretty and cute—and as usual you're really—uh, that's not it!" Darn it, now I sounded more like a freak. I flail my arms a bit. "I didn't mean anything weird—uh, perhaps I did. But I was just worried if—you're..You know, getting hurt and such.." I scratched my head. Now, I'm officially a freak again for her. I failed again?

But a soft laugh that escaped her thin lips made my heart skips a beat. I look at her, she shakes her head, keeping up her sweet smile.

"It's okay, Ukyou-san. I'm fine." _Eh?_

"….Did you just—call my name..?" _She remembered me?_

"Ah—yes, Waka-san told me about you." She puts an innocent smile yet that very smile broke my heart again. _Of course she doesn't remember. Silly me._

"A—I see.. I'm glad you're okay. Uh… But if you're not feeling well, you should call your friend. You live alone so it's a little dangerous to be alone if you're feeling unwell." She looked at me, blinks several times before she mutters.

"You know I live alone..?" _Blast it! Me and my loud mouth. I'm not supposed to know that yet!_

"A—ah, well.. I heard you live alone. Ha—haha…" She tilts her head, seems like she looked off to the distance for a while. Did I scare her again..? Perhaps, I should leave her for now and watch from afar again. I can't make myself more suspicious than this.

"We—well, I will excuse.."

"I don't have…"

"Eh?"

"I don't have anyone to call if I'm feeling unwell." She said. For some reason, her smile looked somewhat lonely. Is something happened? Did she fight with Shin? Or Toma was too busy with his college? Or did the fanclubs bother her and Ikki ditched her again? Or she knew Kent will go to Paris? Which one is it?

"Ukyou-san..?" Her voice brought me back to reality. I looked at her and sighed.

"Hm.. This is bad. If you have no one to count on…" I cup my chin again, deep in thought. It would be weird for me to be here and there to save her again and again. In the last world, she thought I was stalker and running away from me. I shouldn't do it. But with no one looking closely at her.

(_Why don't you give her your number, Ukyou?_) Neil's voice echoed in my head. I sighed, shakes my head briefly.

_But Neil, I'm the most dangerous one. I can't do it._

_(But you're the only one who can save her, Ukyou.)_

He is right, I know he is right. I sighed, once again look at her who kept staring blankly at me.

"…..Can I borrow your cellphone?"

"Eh?" She looks surprised at first before she fished out her cellphone. I made a quick trip to her address book and typed my email address and number there.

"Here—Is my contact. If there is anything happened, you can call me anytime." I smiled lightly before I hand her back the phone. She looks at the screen then nods, along with another sweet smile.

"Thank you, Ukyou-san!"

Once again, her smile stole away my heart. I wonder why I fell this hard for her… Why can't I move from her? But I don't need an answer for that. All I know, that I want to save her no matter what. I spread my sight along the way. Somehow, it feels a little nostalgic.

"It was like this too right…?" I murmured, more to myself as I close my eyes.

"Eh?"

"I was saving you too when the first time we met. Do you remember?"

"….The first time we met?" I gasp, snap my eyes open then shakes my head.

"No—It's nothing." I force another smile. She doesn't need to remember anything. What am I expected? Didn't I already make up my mind? The more I talked to her, the more I wished for impossible. No, I should keep my self focus. I can't let my selfish desire to take me over again.

"Ah.. I will excuse myself now." I said, slowly run my fingers through my long hair. "I wouldn't want to meet you under the same circumstance so please, be careful." I gave a small bow before I turn my body and walk away from her. I keep on walking, head straight to the empty street right in front of me. This is for the best. I shouldn't let myself carried away. While planting that thought in my head, I started to take my step farther and farther away from her.

_It's good this way…_

_It's better this way.._

**Eventhough it feels hurt.**

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><p>I adjust my hat after washing my face by the faucet in the park. I rarely going home lately. Eversince we stepped into August, I slept in the park, close to her apartment a lot. Of course, my reason is to be easier to prevent anything to happen. I fixed my coat a little. Eventhough it's in summer, it feels really cold. Perhaps, because we rewound the time only, not the climate. I sighed, Neil's power is depleting because of me, and I should let him go as soon as possible. But for my wish to come true—I slap my own cheeks, slowly shaking my head.<p>

"Hnn! I should keep myself straight!" I tried to give myself a cheer before I pick up my steps to the café again. Today is her shift and according to my guess, today something might happened. I should hurry up myself. I reached the café without wasting any time but something stuck on the wall made my heart tightens painfully.

[Under Renovation]

_What..?_

_The café… under renovation?_

_How about her?_

_Don't tell me!_

I turned my body, as fast as I could. Did something happened out from the 'ordinary'? No, I have no time to think. I should find her! My mind went blank, my vision turns white as I start to run frantically for her.

_Where are you? Where..?!_

_If something happened to you…I….I…._

My steps stopped as I see someone familiar from afar. My body feels weak, even trembling from fear. I want to hug her, making sure she is fine. But…I can't. I just walk, drags myself closer to her.

"A—ah…Hello." I greet her and she turns her back. I wonder for how many times already my heart fluttered with happiness whenever I see her in piece?

"Good morning, Ukyou-san! Eh.. It should be good afternoon, right? Tehe.." She smiles, yet again, she looked a little absentminded.

"Are you okay?" It was the first question I could think up by now. She tilts her head then nods firmly.

"Yes. I am. Are you okay..?" She asked, tilting her head worriedly.

"A—ah, yes.. I'm fine. You shouldn't worry about me."

"Really..? But you looked a little pale, Ukyou-san.. Are you lack of sleep?"

[_"Ukyou-san! You should really rest. See? You look pale. You should get enough sleep!"_]

Her words echoed with my own memories in my head. It made my chest tightened with another pain, yet it feels warm at the same time.

"It had been…a while since someone worried about me like this."

"Eh?"

"A—ah, it's nothing. Ah yes.. I saw the café is under reconstruction. Is it the pipe problem?" I asked casually, try to throw away the subject somewhere.

"Well, yes.. How did you know that?" I gasp again. Darn it, I thought it was something that happened in other world. Seems like it happened in this world? I kept messed up everything in front of her.

"A—ah, well, it happens too before, right? Haha-hahah.. Well, I guess I'll excuse myself now. See ya." I turn my body hurriedly. I should go now before I turn more suspicious than now.

"Ukyou-san!"

"Yes!" I froze at her sudden call. I turn my body and she smiles rather awkwardly. Now, I'm afraid what she might say. What if… She told me to keep some distance from her—again? It always happened…I should be ready for it.

"Can you walk me home?"

"Eh?" _What did she said? Me? Walking her home?_

"But I—I…" I shake my head, tried to force another smile on my lips. "No..If I'm in front of you, I might start saying weird things. Beside—You should think of me as a male…and be careful around me." I intentionally pressed the word 'be careful' at her. It's dangerous to be alone, but more than that, it's dangerous to be close to me.

"I see…" She looked a little sad as she smiles faintly. "I'm sorry to trouble you."

_No.. Please don't put that expression. You're not trouble. Please…If you look that way then I…_

"…..I understand, I will walk you until the corner of your apartment." I lose. I couldn't stand her face at all. I don't want her to be sad, not if I'm the cause of it. I gave her much problem already so I want to see her smile, always.

"Thank you, Ukyou-san!"

With that, we started to walk together. Side by side, on the way to her home. Somehow, it feels even more nostalgic. Before, we used to walk together like this after her works. She would tell me everything happened in the store. Her cheerful voice would always be my energy. And the warmth from her hand always been my personal satisfaction.

But now, there was no holding hand. No cheerful conversation. We walked in silent. She is gripping to her bag, looks dreamy as she gazes at the sky. But at least, the sky is the same one.

"It's still the same sky… It was like this too when the first time we met. You were in your trip after your highschool graduation. I was currently on my job, taking pictures around. And it was when I caught you in my lens for the first time. The cherry blossoms fit you well. Then, to my surprise, you worked in the café I came into when I back to this city. What a coincidence when I thought I wouldn't meet you again. I was on table number eight and you served me recognized me rightaway. Since then, I never use any other table. Haha.. Silly, right? Then…"

(_Ukyou!_)

Neil's voice left my unfinished story in the middle. I widen my eyes. How could I tell her everything? It is nostalgic but why did my mouth saying such memories that she would never remember?

"…Ukyou-san?" She tilts her head. "Aren't you going to continue with the nostalgic story?"

_Eh?_

_Why did she say so?_

_She isn't suppose to remember it right?_

_Don't tell me…_

"Ne—nee, do you actually remember—?!" Before I could finish everything, I notice a strange shadow under us and without any thought, I pulls her closer to me. With that, a pot successfully hit the ground and breaks into pieces. Soo close… I notice her body trembles lightly and I put a faint smile, slowly pats her head gently. The sensation of touching her soft hair didn't even change and it brought another bitter sweet memory into my consciousness.

"Are you okay? It's fine now." She nods, slowly moves away from me and smiles.

"Thank you.."

(_That never happened before, right?_)Neil said, I slowly nod. It was the first time something like this happened in this world. Is it because I walk with her now?

_Say, Neil… Your power is only enough to rewind the time, right? What if..something else change..?_

_(What do you mean?)_

_I don't know..But I will know..Afterall, tomorrow is dangerous too._

I put my full attentions to her who still looks shocked.

"A—ah, shall we go now?" She nods, follows my steps afterward.

"Anyway, tomorrow, you don't need to go anywhere right?" I asked.

"Eh—Why?" I closes my eyes. _Tomorrow is a death flag for her. But of course, I can't say that she will die if she going anywhere…In that case…_

"Would you clear your schedule for tomorrow? There is something I need to show you…"

_Please, if you refuse… You might die…_


End file.
